BABY GIRL!!

I have a little baby girl growing inside me! I can't believe it. The ultrasound was so fun and so amazing and made this all feel more real. I know I have felt her move a few times, but just since the ultrasound I know I have felt her twice. It's like seeing made my other senses more aware. I feel so excited and lucky! I guess we will have to try again another time for little John Wesley, considering this lil lady will have a very female name. I can't wait to start thinking of them and picking out some with Adam! He is excited. It was so adorable to see his smiles during the ultrasound and also hear his reaction to the sex. It caught us both so off guard. We were sure she was a little boy. He just kept saying that all that mattered was that she was healthy and she is! This is wild! I will have little fingernails to paint and hair to do. So much responsibility either way,  but I will have so much work building a strong woman! So excited. 20 wk appt next Tuesday. Wish every appt was an ultrasound one too. I want to see more of  her. She was so active and was sucking on her fingers. She didn't want us to see her lady parts. She waved at us. It was the coolest and most crazy thing I have ever expirenced.

Ultrasound Scheduled!

Got the ultrasound scheduled for the end of this month! I am so excited! I don't think I'll ever be more impatient in my life. I just want to know what this little baby is, we really do think it's a boy, but I am dying to know for sure now. I still feel so good and I am so thankful for that. I can't get over how much of a nice expirence this has been. I really hope we end up with lots of kids. I can't even express it enough. But, we need better jobs/raises and all kinds of good stuff like that. I get off early tomorrow. I'm gonna do homework and hopefully do some house cleaning and consolidating and then if lucky, some baby prepping too!Adam took a belly shot last night. Maybe I'll find some time to upload that before my trip too.  I can't wait to go to KY, but I just want to get some things done before hand. I know Monday will be a blur and I won't get much done, no matter where I am. This is going to be a good two weekends, back to back in KY. It will be warmer, I will see my family and ALLIE! I can't wait to see her. She is getting so big and I feel like everyday I am missing some major stuff.

I have always felt like I feed off of others emotions. Empathy, right? I feel what they are feeling. When my office is negative I feel so negative and down. It has been like this for two days. I don't understand why I have to deal with such a hateful person. I don't understand why things that don't regard me at all are taken out on me. It's just so uncomfortable when certain people are in bad moods. It's not that hard not to project your crap on to others. I do it literally every day. I guess not everyone is blessed with a great attitude or life, I should probably be more understanding of that. It is really hard. I can barely tolerate negativity from anyone, let alone someone I share 40 miserable hours a week with. I need to just push it from my mind and keep planning my Friday and get some more work done so I actually can plan for tomrrow.

Baby Appointment!

Had my 16 week appointment today. Heard the heart beat again. 148 bpm. Last month it was 160 bpm. Don't worry, totally normal. I was convinced to take my flu shot today. YUCK. Wish I had waited and thought it over for a month. I don't want to vaccinate the baby, why did I vaccinate myself? I also gained 5 lbs. I'm so bad. I need to get it together, but it doesn't feel like I'm over eating. I eat when hungry and don't when I'm not. So, it's a mystery. It will be a bland grocery trip next time we go. I have to finish some reading for class tonight, but I had to pop in cause I'm still feeling so excited and lucky! I should be in KY this weekend getting some more baby supplies. YAY!

Nervous!

I have school tonight. I am taking 4 classes, 2 each nine weeks of the semester. I am so nervous. I am worried I won't do well or get the work done. I am worried I won't have other time to prep for the baby or take care of the house at all. I just preform the best under pressure, so I feel that when my load is light, I tend to slack. At least this way I have many responsibilities. I feel I will come closer to living up to all the responsibility and maybe even getting more then anticipated done.  I am happy to get 12 hours knocked out. I hope I can keep it up and also that I can get on track for being a dentist. I just don't seem my classes being available at night. Most of what I am taking now is elective, I need to get the other ones done! I feel like alot of changes are coming my way. I just really hope I am able to stay in school and work. I wish I could work at Sephora full time and educate. They can work around a schedule much better then M-F 8-5 like my full time job. On the other hand, I just got a nicer office and furniture, I feel I need to stay here a while longer. I just don't know what to do. I hope the answers come to me.

Not Hungry

These last few days have been very odd. I have struggled with having an appetite. While I have always had a healthy appetite, especially since pregnant. I now really don't. I am having to make myself eat. Once I eat I feel fine, not sick or anything, but it feels so odd to not be hungry. I am ready to go to the appointment next week and talk to my Dr. about it. I love eating so it is odd to me to not feel so hungry. It just started too, like Sunday. I feel like when I eat, I am eating a more appropriate amount, versus alot of food. I gained 6.5 lbs between my 8 wk and 12 wk appointment so maybe I won't have gained as much this time, which would really be healthier. I doubt it though, I will have a week of not hungry to stack against 3 weeks of starving constantly. We shall see I guess. I just hate feelinging like I don't know what is happening or if everything is okay. My gut is telling me all is well though, which makes me feel comforted.

So Excited

I am getting so excited about this whole thing. I am so busy, I haven't been logging any of my feelings or doings. But, my feelings are easy, tired, excited, impatient. I just feel so good. I feel overwhelmed sometimes, but I know it will all work out. I have been shown so much support. I plan to post a belly pic soon and also so pictures of the generosity I have already been shown. I have baby books, maternity clothes, a basinet (sp?), and a baby bed, stroller/carseat and more maternity clothes coming! I am so excited and so lucky and so happy. This is wonderful!!!!!!!

Junk Food

Okay - so last week and the end of the week before were bad weeks for me. I was eating junk food like crazy and just never stopping. Nothing else sounded better or tasted better. I even ate meat several times. Ugh. I have a leftover club in the fridge and it makes me sick to think about. Why? I don't get my body right now at all. Today I had oatmeal for breakfast and am not remotely hungry at all. In fact my stomach hurts kinda. WTF?! I really don't get it and I want to, it is really frusterating. I need to go to the store and replinish my fruit supply. I think I could eat that again. I was so burnt out. I never get burnt out on stuff. I could and sometimes do eat the same stuff day after day for weeks. I do not understand. I almost feel like an entirely different person. Feels pretty good to be back on track though food wise, well I guess I should say making 1 good decision after a string of not so good ones. Intend to make this week full of good choices though. Food and otherwise.