Week 24 is approaching

So I still haven't uploaded anything. I am a dog. I really need to get on that. I am just so busy with works, school, and trying to be productive in the house that when I do waste time it's not doing productively wasteful things. Ha. I need to start the weekly belly pics now, since I didn't at first, and now I have a bump. It's crazy and I feel so beautiful. Literally the only time I don't is when I get on the scale.

I am putting on weight like someone bet me I couldn't or something. It's borderline scary, but I also think that once I have a baby and am plus 500 lbs, I'll feel really obligated to get it together. Wishful and procrastinating thinking? I think so, but also nothing motivates like feeling disgusting and huge. I really try to eat well,  but it is so hard. I don't have the most healthy relationship with food to begin with, I don't just eat to live. I don't quite eat to live, but I'm more on that end of the spectrum for sure. Not really sure why either, my dad is very fit and my mom always fed us pretty well, 1-2 veg and a fruit at dinner along with meat and not dessert nightly. I bet the portions were a little large and processesed sides were incorporated, but she did alot of cooking and didn't just live to feed us pizza and burgers. That being said, the biggest struggle for me right now is my consumption. I am literally hungry all the time. I have had 2 days this whole 24 weeks where I didn't feel at least 85% awesome, those two days I felt yuck and my belly really hurt. I think I ate too much, too fast when I wasn't hungry. Aside from that I can't be satisfied. I am really trying to make good choices, but nothing is filling. I try grains, fruits, vegetables, and of course junk. It all lasts the same, like 10 minutes and I want more. I am buying healthy stuff and consuming it, but I don't have the budget to eat only fresh fruits and vegetables or the will power probably. I am finally eating the things I buy and stuff is not going to waste so I feel very proud of that.

I realized today that starting my 24th week didn't mean I was starting the third trimester. Had I thought about this more, I would have known and not had to read it, but now I know. So, I have 1 more month of the second trimester to go. Basically 4 months when I had slyly convinced myself that I had 3. So I really have to get my weight undercontrol. I want to not have a belly full of stretch marks. Vain, I know, but I have boobs, thighs, and hips full of them. Puberty was terrible for my skin and I was terrible to my skin, so I am trying to be better to it now in hopes of not being covered. But I know the less I gain the more likely I am to not have them or have less.

This last month has been so nice. This whole pregnancy has been so nice. I feel so beautiful. Adam is so into all of this. He feels the baby kick and lays on my belly. He calls me beautiful, sexy, and georgous every day (which he did before, but I wasn't +30 lbs). It's so awesome. I am so in love with him and it grows everyday and he seems to be feeling the exact same way. It makes this process sooo much less mentally taxing for me. He is always texting me to tell me he loves and misses us or posting of Facebook when he feels her. It's so special. I didn't know what to expect from him and boy am I impressed. I wouldn't want to be going through all of this alone, and with him and my family and friends, I feel so supported. It is so wonderful.

I gave up my regular jeans after we got back from vacation on the 10th of this month. So at like 22 weeks or so. I could still get them on, but they started to get very uncomfortable. Now I am rocking the maternity pants that I can't believe even fit me. They are all like size small and size 6, I'm not either of those! So even my maternity clothes are making me feel lovely. My boobs have literally grown 3 cup sizes. I think maybe more, but I also think my cup size was too small pre pregnancy, so refuse to count up from that. I kind of hate it, they are even heavier then they were before and they don't seem to be stopping. I have 3 bras on the way from over seas, I should see them in a couple of weeks. I PRAY that they fit. I don't want to return them and order more. I just want to have a couple bras that fit and will fit for a while. I also pray that my boobs don't get much bigger. They seriously take away from my baby bump. If I were flat or smaller chested I would be showing more, but with my chest as it is, my bump won't be farther out than my boobs until 8 months, no joke. Adam loves it, but he is a man, so I can't really claim to be suprised there.

I haven't done much to prep for baby. I am a double dog. Adam has started to work on her room. He's been sick all week so that progress is halted at the moment, but I bet it will be redry walled this weekend and then we will paint. No idea on color yet, maybe yellow. We have a nice pile of stuff we have been gifted for our little lady. That is so cool, I feel so special and loved. I want to go through my maternity clothes and see what won't fit and maybe give to Adam's sister or consign. With it getting cold and most of this stuff being summer, I don't know that Ashley can use it. I also need to empty out the dresser upstairs so we can get it down here and hopefully refinish it and then stuff it with the clothes we have. Then I can maybe register at Target or something for the baby shower. Adam was planning one for me, but that suprise got messed up, so now I'm sort of at a loss. Do I try to initiate one for myself or wait for someone to just get on it. Not really sure what it appropriate. I want to do one in Kentucky and one in Indiana, The rough lists I made out for both locations seemed to deem two necessary, even if 1/3 of the people show up, it'll be probably like 8 -12 people at each and that seems okay. Not overwhelming. I just want to see everyone and celebrate this awesome time as much as possible. Still can't get over how blessed we have been so far. Now if we can figure out childcare I will be over the moon. That is one kink we have yet to un-kink.

Really going to try to post some pics of what we have so far, the babies room in progress, and my belly.

Baby Appointment!

Had my 16 week appointment today. Heard the heart beat again. 148 bpm. Last month it was 160 bpm. Don't worry, totally normal. I was convinced to take my flu shot today. YUCK. Wish I had waited and thought it over for a month. I don't want to vaccinate the baby, why did I vaccinate myself? I also gained 5 lbs. I'm so bad. I need to get it together, but it doesn't feel like I'm over eating. I eat when hungry and don't when I'm not. So, it's a mystery. It will be a bland grocery trip next time we go. I have to finish some reading for class tonight, but I had to pop in cause I'm still feeling so excited and lucky! I should be in KY this weekend getting some more baby supplies. YAY!

Not Hungry

These last few days have been very odd. I have struggled with having an appetite. While I have always had a healthy appetite, especially since pregnant. I now really don't. I am having to make myself eat. Once I eat I feel fine, not sick or anything, but it feels so odd to not be hungry. I am ready to go to the appointment next week and talk to my Dr. about it. I love eating so it is odd to me to not feel so hungry. It just started too, like Sunday. I feel like when I eat, I am eating a more appropriate amount, versus alot of food. I gained 6.5 lbs between my 8 wk and 12 wk appointment so maybe I won't have gained as much this time, which would really be healthier. I doubt it though, I will have a week of not hungry to stack against 3 weeks of starving constantly. We shall see I guess. I just hate feelinging like I don't know what is happening or if everything is okay. My gut is telling me all is well though, which makes me feel comforted.

Junk Food

Okay - so last week and the end of the week before were bad weeks for me. I was eating junk food like crazy and just never stopping. Nothing else sounded better or tasted better. I even ate meat several times. Ugh. I have a leftover club in the fridge and it makes me sick to think about. Why? I don't get my body right now at all. Today I had oatmeal for breakfast and am not remotely hungry at all. In fact my stomach hurts kinda. WTF?! I really don't get it and I want to, it is really frusterating. I need to go to the store and replinish my fruit supply. I think I could eat that again. I was so burnt out. I never get burnt out on stuff. I could and sometimes do eat the same stuff day after day for weeks. I do not understand. I almost feel like an entirely different person. Feels pretty good to be back on track though food wise, well I guess I should say making 1 good decision after a string of not so good ones. Intend to make this week full of good choices though. Food and otherwise.

All morning eating situation

This morning I think breakfast and lunch are the same. I started at 9 and just had food continually through 12:30. It was Apples and peanut butter. A strawberry from the garden! So good!! A few regular strawberries, pineapple, and grapes. It was so good. I also finished the Kit Kat first thing this morning. So I know I'll be hungry again before the day is over, but I am so glad I plowed through all that fruit though. I still have two apples staring at me, I need to get them home today so I eat them over the weekend. I can't wait until the garden is producing! I really want the stuff in there. I get a strawberry everymorning. I saw the white of couliflower in some of my plants today. I hope the broccli isn't far behind. I need to weed it so bad. It is happening Sunday Morning!

Snack and Dinner

At work I had 1/2 a Godiva chocolate bar. I had high expectations, and was let down. Once back home 2 more pieces of pizza, and 2 pieces of a Kit Kat. Finally my prenatals and DHA. Time for bed now. Hoping not to pee 4 times tonight. One thing I hate about all the water  drink now. Got nauseas today watching a pageant mom get crap for her daughter who was 9. It was awful and the kid was not into it at all. It would be one thing if the kid was loving it, but she was so disinterested and mainly watching her little brother. Sad stuff.

Snack

Red and green grapes and strawberries, also another piece of pizza. So good, even cold. I hate that when I eat I am hungrier. This goes for anything too, not just junk.

Lunch

Two pieces of cheese pizza from Marco's and a few breadsticks with pizza sauce. I will probably eat more before I leave work. It is just delicious. I really could eat bread all day. Oh, can't forget the huge Mountain Dew freeze. It's odd, the first couple weeks I knew I was pregnant, I wanted Sprite if I wanted soda. Now I am back to Mountain Dew freezes; although my old drink of choice Coke doesn't hold it's same allure. I take two sittings to finish a 20 oz.

Breakfast

Granny Smith Apple and lots of peanut butter. Water. Trying to get more protien and also trying to eat the 20+ apples I still have from the 4th. I have not eaten enough fruit this week. I am just getting tired of it right now. Had alot of bread though, for some reason I could eat that for every meal.